Hold Still So I Can Hit You. (English Story)

Hold Still So I Can Hit You.

Description: This is the twelfth story in the Caddymaster Saga. Ellen's family has the crisis this time and Jackie gets trapped into participating in the problems.

Codes: mf
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I was sitting in front of my house trying to decide whether it was worth it to give my car a wash and a polish. I was leaning strongly towards the 'no' side. Ellen and I were fighting again, over whether or not we should get involved in the problems her parents were having with her oldest sister. The girl was fourteen and she didn't want to go to an all girl's high school. I liked Megan, and didn't see that she even needed our help. She had her father wrapped around her little finger and was using him brilliantly to hold her mother to a stand off. As usual, we compromised over it. I wanted to stay completely out of the whole thing and Ellen wanted to come down with both feet on her sister's side. The compromise was that we'd drive over there and I could stay out of it while Ellen and Megan ganged up on her mother.

We got there on a Sunday afternoon, an hour or so after they got back from the ten o'clock mass, and tying on the feed bag at the all you can eat chicken in the basket dinner out at the Roadhouse. Tom, Ellen's father, was hiding in the den, sipping a scotch and trying to make himself invisible. Mrs. DePaul had Megan in the kitchen with her, raking her over the coals and trying to score her points on the 'for' side of the argument question.

"Do you want to wind up like your sister, married to a lumberjack with more muscles than brains? Is that what you want?" I heard that part and knew that Ellen would be unlimbering and then unleashing the big guns anytime now. I looked over at Tom and winked. He got up and brought me a cold beer, a Rheingold as I remember. "Because if that's what you want, those are the kinds of boys you'll be meeting in the public high school, not refined gentlemen like your father. You'll meet brawlers and drinkers and people who are forced to live by their wits, Megan. Is that what you want?"

"Mom's telling you the truth, Meg, you should listen to her. I'm not saying Jackie's not more than a little crude, and he's a cut above most of the boys you're likely to meet. He does have other good qualities though, in spite of his pronounced lower forehead and brow and his funny shaped skull. He makes a piss pot full of money and has a dick so big it would make Man O'War pout in embarrassment. Right mommy? You saw it that one time you peeked at us in the shower? And Meg, the other thing is that you can just see how refined going to an all girls Catholic High School has made me. If you want to try out some lesbian sex, Sacred Heart is a good place to go. I bet I must have fought off at least fifty girls in the showers over the years I went there. Of course, if I'd known then what a talented tongue could do for a girl, well, let's just say I might have been a whole lot cleaner in high school."

"Ellen! I might have known you'd automatically take the opposite side from me. Why do you always do that?"

"Mostly because you are usually wrong. You spout your prejudices as if they were facts. Jackie is a businessman, and a successful one too. He makes twice as much as daddy does. All you ever see are the things you've been taught to be afraid of, not the things that are real and might matter. I hated going to Sacred Heart, Megan will hate it too. Why do you always try to force us into the mold your parents forced you into? Let her make a few choices for herself once in awhile. What's for dinner?"

Dinner was somewhat subdued. Tom finally put his foot down and told Megan she could decide which high school she wanted to go to. His wife got up and left the table, running off to her room. Ellen's two other sisters had big grins on their faces knowing that precedent had been set there that evening. I sat there, quiet, not envying Tom in the least. His wife wasn't a woman who had much flexibility to her. She would do her very best to make him regret not backing her in this matter. I was able to prevail on Ellen to leave before the shit hit the fan. By the time Tom was allowed back into his own bedroom, Megan had already enrolled in the public high school and nothing bad or dramatic had happened to her. When Megan announced that she was pregnant right before Christmas, Tom took up semi-permanent residence in the den and took to sleeping on the couch in there.

"Jackie, is it Ok with you if I invite Megan to come live with us until after the baby is born? She won't be a bother, and mom is making her life miserable at home."

"No, Ellen, it isn't Ok. I told you before, I don't want to get in the middle of this thing. Let your parents take care of it. I'm not stupid you know, you're thinking about adopting her baby when it's born. I don't want anybody else's baby. If you want a baby, you have to earn it, the same way women have done it since the beginning. No cheating."

"I don't want to adopt either Jackie. I'm just worried about Megan. You know how my mother gets. How about we bring her here for one month, just to give her a little break from mom."

"How about you give me a break for a month and just drop this, all right?"

"She's my sister. When have I ever stopped you from helping anybody in your family? Never, that's when!"

"Ok, you can bring her here for one month, but that's it, Right?" Ellen just looked at me, not saying what I needed her to say. "Right?" I could see myself drowning in the quagmire my life was going to turn into. "Please, one month and no more?"

"Sure baby, just for a month. You'll see, it will be fun." I was so screwed. I could see it in her eyes. The next morning we went over to get Megan and her things to move her into our guest bedroom. Tom was there, and from the look on his face I could tell he wanted to ask us whether we had room for him too. Ellen and her sister were both giddy on the short ride to our house. They were making plans and putting together a mental list of all the things they wanted to get done in the time that Megan would stay with us. One month became two, and then was stretched to three. Megan was a good kid, good natured and helpful to Ellen and I. She tried to always look on the positive side of things. She didn't mind walking to school if we couldn't drive her for some reason, and would always let us know if she was going to be late coming home after school. Ellen knew that she was still seeing the boy who made her pregnant, but she didn't see any harm in it since her sister was already pregnant.

Megan was almost five months pregnant when she lost the baby with a miscarriage. She woke up not feeling that good and decided not to go into school that day. By early afternoon, she was starting to vomit and her temperature began to spike up. Ellen was ready to take her to the hospital just to get a doctor to check her over when Megan screamed from the bathroom that she was bleeding. We rushed her to the hospital, but by then it was too late, and she lost the baby. They did a D&C on her and kept her in the hospital for several days. That was tough for a girl just turning fifteen. Her mother just added to her woes when she visited Megan at the hospital and tried to tell her it was God's punishment for her sins.

When they released Megan from the hospital we decided to let her live with us for a while longer. I told Ellen that I wasn't going to put up with Megan being allowed to run around with that boy any more. We spoke with Megan and she promised that she was going to obey us in that regard. I usually drove her to school after that and Ellen usually picked her up and brought her home after school. We almost made it to summer vacation before finding out that Megan was again pregnant. This time by a different boy. I was fit to be tied over it, but Ellen took it all very calmly.

"Jackie, it isn't the end of the world. This time we'll be more careful about her exercise and sleep. The baby will be fine and healthy, you'll see. Don't worry."

"I'm not worried about the baby. I'm worried about what your sister could be thinking, getting herself back up to her neck in trouble again. You'd think she'd learned her lesson the first time."

When I found out that Ellen was letting Megan visit with her boyfriend after school a couple afternoons each week, I was really pissed. "What the hell are you using to think with Ellen? It certainly isn't your brain. Isn't it bad enough that Megan's knocked up again at fifteen? Do you have to give her the green light to continue with her stupid behavior? If it happens again, she's out of my house and I mean it." Of course, seeing it as an abridgement of her inalienable rights, Ellen had to test my commitment and resolve by taking Megan over to the boy's house that very same week. As soon as I walked into the front door that night, she confessed what she had done, practically daring me to do anything about it. I called Tom on the telephone and told him to get his ass over to my house and pick up Megan and take her home. I told him exactly what had been going on, including Ellen's role in it all.

Tom got to my place in about five minutes and he and Ellen had some sharp words. Tom finally just pushed Ellen out of his way and went into the guest room and grabbed Megan by her arm and began dragging her out of the house, with her screaming bloody murder the whole way. I had Ellen's arms pinned to her side and was holding on to her, keeping her out of Tom's way. After he left, I released Ellen and stepped back as she started to hit me with a series of slap attempts.

"Damn it Jackie, hold still so I can hit you!" I'd just about lost that last little piece of my patience by then and I grabbed her and gave her three or four swats on her ass. "You hit me!"

"Damn right I did, and I'll keep hitting you until you straighten up and fly right. What the hell are you thinking, that you can do whatever the hell you feel like doing? You're worse than your sister, and more to blame for things than even your mother is. You did everything possible to give your sister the opportunity to start acting like a little tramp. You helped her, and you did it just to spite your mother. The trouble is, your sister is the one who has to pay the price for your revenge. I've gone along with your little fantasy games as long as it was all talk. When you start living vicariously through your sister, there I'm going to draw the line. She isn't to set foot in this house ever again, you hear me? If you ever planned on conning me into taking her baby when it comes, you can forget that too. You can stay here or you can leave. Right now I don't care which you decide to do." After I was done talking I went into bed and went to sleep. Ellen slept in the guest room.

Things were tense for a long time around our house. I knew that Ellen was mulling over her options. I was working like usual and trying to eat before I came home. I didn't try to initiate any conversations with her. I figured she'd let me know what was on her mind when she was ready.

"Jackie, I want a divorce."

"Ok."

"I'm serious, I want out of this marriage."

"I said Ok, get a lawyer and have him draw up the papers."

"That's it then, you don't even want to discuss it?"

"Nothing to discuss. You want out. Fine. Take what you want and leave. I'm tired and I'm going to bed."

"You hit me. Spanked me like I was a kid again."

"Good night." I just got up and walked into our bedroom and closed the door. When I got up in the morning she was still there, doing something in the kitchen. I got dressed and walked outside to my truck. I was climbing up into the cab when she came out the door in her bathrobe to tell me she'd be gone when I got back. I just nodded, letting her know that I'd heard her. I was gone all day and got home at about ten that evening. Her car was still parked outside the house. I went in and saw her sitting in the living room watching television.

"I thought you were leaving."

"I did leave, my father sent me back."

"He didn't want to have to put up with anymore of your shit I bet. Good night I'm tired."

"Jackie, I want a baby."

"I know you do, but that was a terrible way to try to get one."

"I can't have any children. The doctor did some tests and there's some problems and I'll never get pregnant."

"How long have you known?"

"Almost a year, since last August."

"You didn't figure that I might like to know?"

"I was afraid that if I told you, you might leave me for a woman who could give you babies."

"I suppose I might have if having my own babies was that important to me. If loving you was only a minor part of me. If I thought I could ever be happy with someone who wasn't you."

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Of course you can. You know, the doctors have been known to make mistakes about whether a woman can have babies or not."

"Do you think I should try a different doctor?"

"No, I think we should just keep trying to get you pregnant. Even if it never happens, we should keep trying every chance we get. You never know."

"I feel like trying right now."

"Me too."

We never did manage to have a baby. We've kept trying though, never giving up. Megan had her baby, a little boy that she named Edward, after her brother who had died when he was so young. That little boy was the apple in his Grandma's eye since the first time she held him. Megan straightened up a lot after she became a mother. She graduated from Sacred Heart just like Ellen had before her. She got married to a nice college boy from Yale, and they had three more children together, two girls and a boy.

Over the years, we've entertained many many children, mostly relatives, but a few strays that Ellen managed to wheedle away from social services for a day or a week or a month; however long it took to find them a foster home or get them placed with a relative. She would have made a wonderful mother I think, but she's put much more effort and care into being a good Aunt than she might have if we'd had our own children. I can't say I've missed anything about not having children. I was always worried I'd make some of my father's mistakes with them and they'd turn out like I did, or like he did. Me not having children made my mom sad though. She always thought I had the breeding lines to produce a real champion.


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The End